Madonna, Queen of Pop, does not do low-key. She frees the nipple onstage, she makes out with Britney and Drake, she hangs from a cross… the only thing you can predict from her on any given day is a production. So when, before my appointment to get her signature facial, I was told on two separate occasions that aesthetician Edyta Jarosz is a pro at capturing Instagram #content, I knew I was in for a show. What I didn’t yet know was that the magnets, brow-raising electricity currents, and rainbow lights she uses would make for so much more than just social media porn.
Why get Madonna’s facial and not, say, Kate Bosworth’s or Kim Kardashian’s (two people whose skin I’d very much kill to have)? Because, in addition to being the best-selling female recording artist of all time, Madonna also found the the time to create a skin-care line called MDNA Skin. For the last three years, it was only available in Japan, Hong Kong, and Taiwan; on September 26, it makes its long-awaited debut in the U.S. And only one place — the newly-opened PFrankMD Skin Salon in NYC — currently uses the products in treatments. So I lay down in Edyta’s bed for the OxyLight facial and MDNA mask add-on, because I can only hope that I, too, will feel good enough in my skin at 59 to date three decades down and walk red carpets with my ass out.
After washing and exfoliating my face, Edyta painted on the MDNA Chrome Clay Mask. It contains, like all the products in the line, the brand’s proprietary ingredient: M.T. Parca. Derived from four natural springs in Italy, the compound features sodium, chlorine, iodine, calcium, lithium, and phosphorus to stimulate skin at the cellular level. Alone, it costs $180, but you’re going to want the set, which includes a magnetic wand that you’ll hover above your face to suck the magnetic-coated clay (and the gunk in your pores) right out, while generating a small electromagnetic interaction that energizes the cells. It’s fun in an ASMR way, which is how you’re going to have to justify the $600 price tag if you’re not a Madonna superfan.